Campers don’t have to eat rubbish at McDonald’s.
Croc eggs make a good omelette, you just have to keep the fellow who always expects you to fix his flats nearer the edge of the water than you to distract Mama Croc while you dig the eggs out of the sandbank. Better to dig up the eggs after you’ve crossed the river.
If you want ostrich egg, which makes a rich scramble, watch out for the six-inch forenail of Mama Ostrich. The tool of choice to separate that toenail from you is a thorn branch about six feet long, which you hold over her head to mesmerize her. She won’t kick if she can’t look down at her feet, for fear of kicking herself fatally instead of you.
If you’re Down Under, Skippy makes good BBQ. I’d explain how to get a joey to volunteer by jumpingg into the roasting bag and rolling himself up oven-ready but I suspect there are some bleeding hearts here.
© 2014 Andre Jute
Photo credit Lizzie Borden