CORDON BLEU FOR CAMPERS: “Skippy makes good BBQ”

Kanga against the sunset, photo credit  Lizzie Borden

Campers don’t have to eat rubbish at McDonald’s.

Croc eggs make a good omelette, you just have to keep the fellow who always expects you to fix his flats nearer the edge of the water than you to distract Mama Croc while you dig the eggs out of the sandbank. Better to dig up the eggs after you’ve crossed the river.

If you want ostrich egg, which makes a rich scramble, watch out for the six-inch forenail of Mama Ostrich. The tool of choice to separate that toenail from you is a thorn branch about six feet long, which you hold over her head to mesmerize her. She won’t kick if she can’t look down at her feet, for fear of kicking herself fatally instead of you.

If you’re Down Under, Skippy makes good BBQ. I’d explain how to get a joey to volunteer by jumpingg into the roasting bag and rolling himself up oven-ready but I suspect there are some bleeding hearts here.

© 2014 Andre Jute

Photo credit Lizzie Borden

 

4 Comments

Filed under Cycling, Food & Drink, Humor & other BS

4 Responses to CORDON BLEU FOR CAMPERS: “Skippy makes good BBQ”

  1. Danneaux

    “…you just have to keep the fellow who always expects you to fix his flats nearer the edge of the water than you…”.

    So, Andre, who’s that third person we’ll be taking on-tour with us? Y’know, the flat-fixing Distraction fellow? ;)

    All the best,

    Dan. (…who is grateful for Andre’s greater knowledge on these topics)

  2. “So, Andre, who’s that third person we’ll be taking on-tour with us? Y’know, the flat-fixing Distraction fellow? ;)”

    Can’t say in public, Dan. His mother may be reading this.

  3. And Joey tastes just like chicken? (old joke here in the U.S. — “Tastes just like chicken” is the standard reply for just about anything unusual)

  4. Old jokes never die. I remember standing beside an anaconda which had eaten a drunk who fell asleep on the loadbed of his truck, that the villagers then killed. And someone wondered in Spanish if a maneater anaconda would taste different from chicken! Meanwhile, even more bizarrely, a conservationist was going ape about people killing “poor hungry snake”.

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